stages of bereavement

I have several friends who are in several stages of bereavement and I am not sure how to treat them.

One has lost her husband, another has lost a pet, someone else is grieving a parent. All quite heavy stuff.

Any tips about what they are going through?

I feel a little worried I will say the wrong thing at the wrong time and I would be mortified.

Comments for stages of bereavement

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A couple of thoughts on this...people need you more than you think
by: Jackie:

First of all, the fact that you're even asking this shows you care deeply and that goes a long way!!

Grief can look very different depending on the type of loss, the personality of the person grieving, and how close they were to the one they've lost.

Whether it's a spouse, a parent, or a beloved pet, each type of bereavement carries its own weight and complexity.

Here are a few simple but powerful tips:

Listen more than you speak.

Let them guide the conversation. Some people want to talk, others may not. Simply being there without pushing them to "move on" is a huge comfort.

Avoid clichés.

Phrases like "everything happens for a reason" or "they're in a better place" can unintentionally cause pain. Stick with simple honesty: "I'm so sorry. I'm here for you."

Treat each loss as valid.

Pet grief can feel just as intense as losing a person. Don’t minimise it.

Check in gently and regularly.

Grief doesn’t follow a timeline.

Your friends might need support long after the funeral is over.

This is not uncommon, people all get involved around the time of the bereavement but then a person can be left with no-one to turn to.

Small gestures mean a lot. A thoughtful message, a hot drink, or simply sitting together in silence can be incredibly supportive.

People often need you far more than they will ever let on and we are all afraid to just get involved.

Be brave and ask your friends to be honest about what they need from you.

If you're still feeling unsure, I've written more about this topic regarding in different stages of grief—in a full article about Elisabeth Kubler-Ross who write a couple of of books on the topic.

You can read it here

It will be useful to see what stage of the process they are in, and sometimes a person can go backwards and forwards between the stages cycling from one to another and not necessarily in any particular order

Your friends are lucky to have someone who actually thinks about this kind of stuff.

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